seven years later

 I swear to god, i had forgotten all about this blog. That this place existed and there were so many old posts here. In all honesty, I kinda fell off the whole blogger train because after a while, what is the point in writing all this stuff that no one is going to read, I am just adding to all the junk text that is available online. But in all this, the only benefit is that I can speed up the way I type and I don't have to type like the people that use only two fingers to type. 

So, from 2016 to 2023....that is a fuck lot of time, no joke. 

There were few years of covid in there somewhere, then there was instagram and all the time wastage we got on to on that app. So much happened, hair lost, weight gained, more candles on the birthday cakes. Everything went haywire and then it was time to put it all back together again. And we did that too. 

Life goes in a certain direction and there are days when everything goes wrong. 

I have had plenty of such days and I think it's time to make things right again. 

remember, i called it.

So, according to latest directives from the government, even "visiting" a link that might contain a torrent will lead you directly to jail for three years and/or 3 lakh indian rupees worth of fine.

Well, i hope the government has really big jails and lot of manpower, because soon, every fucking indian will have to be behind bars. From the rickshaw pullers to the millionaires, everyone has downloaded torrents or consumed content from torrents. But wait, there is more, here's where I'd like to suggest to the government and the powers that be to start mobile gas chambers like there are mobile ATMs. You roll into a neighborhood, find the IP addresses of the culprits that are downloading torrents, haul them out of their homes by the scruffs of their necks and shove them directly into the hot, toasty insides of the mobile gas chamber.

This would lead to more people visiting movie halls after buying expensive as fuck tickets and eating shitty popcorn and watching 20 minutes of ads of long dead cancer victims and national anthem repeats (if you don't stand from your seat, they'll name and shame you on twitter). Then a sub-standard movie experience will follow that will leave them hollow and closer to death. They might go home and visit a torrent site just to get a taste of government issue mobile death chambers.

If this country had not already gone to the dogs, it is now in the salivating, slobbering, jaws of the said dogs and they're crunching on the bones. Oh yes.

the government doesn't want you to have fun

It's mostly to with being in a position of power. The people who have a nice, cushy, money filled chair under their asses don't like others to have fun. Why? Who the fuck knows. Probably it has something to do with not having had enough fun in their old age, so it's a kind of revenge plot.

Certain fun-centric sites have been blocked in the indian sub-continent. And of course, the fun-hating government is to blame. They're banning everything from food, to the way we dress, to what we get on tv, to what we eat, who we fuck, how we commute, blah blah so on and so forth.

It's a pain living in a country where the water is not drinkable and the government is busy preventing people from downloading bullshit from the web. Hell, drinking water, education, and sanitized living conditions should be top priority of the government, but no. Let's spend time and resources in blocking websites.

Fuckers.

Just look at this baby

See the little green spot on the map? I think that one is called France. Someone from France visited this blog twice. TWICE!

That's pretty much it.

spikes in the traffic

I think on most of the other blogs that I write, i kinda take a serious tone of voice because 1. i know that someone might be reading this, but this one gets hits randomly and whenever i happen to see a spike in traffic, i write another post. All fair? yeah, good. Or not. Doesn't really matter.

So, I've been trying to work on the kindle market and trying to put out ebooks! details are all on the main blogs, or you can leave a comment here and ask me about the books. It's not an easy job, people will rarely go for even free books and once you put a price on them, even less than a fucking 100 rs, they just don't wanna read.

It's funny. We won't even think twice before buying a packet of chips or drinking a cup of coffee that costs almost as much as an ebook or an app, but we think and muse and get conflicted when it comes to paying for something online. Why is that? That's what I want to understand, and I think when I do, I'll be able to figure out a way to make payments easier for the ebooks.

Writing books is a thankless job and one of the shittiest ways to make money. Frankly, if you're putting words out there to sell, you better be writing ace and you better be writing a huge volume of words if you want to eat human food and pay your phone bills. Otherwise, sir, you're fucked.

I am kinda feeling fucked.

Oh boy, this blog is getting views, so whatever the fuck

Alright, i am going to make it easy for you fuckers, this is going to be a buzzfeed style list about things that are going on.

1. comments are now open. You can be anonymous, and swear at me if you don't like reading this shit.
2. Deepika is hanging around with Novak something tennis player. WTF. He is a married dude, and she is already in with that dancing donkey. FUCK.
3. Return of Xander Cage is going to go flop but it's going to do good business in India.
4. Don't watch the abomination that is gods of egypt.
5. game of thrones is coming back on tv. GRRM better warm up his fingers and start writing. This is the first time that a tv series is going to have a different timeline and stuff that the book that has not even been written. Seriously, GRRM, we know that you're not our bitch, but man, have some courtesy
6. A little birdy told me that someone things i write a bit like Stephen King, sometimes. I mean, that's like a no, right? haha, but hey, i'll take any compliment that comes my way. I am a sucker for attention.
7. Kendrick Lamar, untitled unmastered, regular kendrick stuff.
8. i need to get back to writing, i am planning something medium sized, cuz i don't afford big. What can you do about it.
9. laters, see you tomorrow.
10. drop a line if you're reading this. I NEED ATTENTION!

jesus fuck, is blogger fucked or what?

I am seeing more and more problems with blogger these days and it doesn't seem that anyone at google gives a single smidgen of fuck about this publishing platform. they're busy pruning and shoving google+ down the throats of their users. This is why wordpress and tumblr excel over blogger, because their owners are not spread out over so many fucking things that they can't handle one thing properly.

After all, the power that be at google think, who the fuck writes long form anymore, it's people just publishing shit on twitter and facebook and this is where we need to compete for eyeballs. fuck no! People still love to write, example --> ME. Anyway, some problems, i can't seem to activate comments on this blog for some reason. I am not getting the published pingback emails for my blog. And some random issues, seriously, this is one fucked up publishing platform.

hey, if you're reading this, go fuck yourself lolfgt

eh hum, okay so i wanted to test out some posts and didn't want to fuck up my regular blog with that, so i posted a test post here last night and today I see that test post has some 9-11 views. haha, really? Some people came here to look at the words test post and please ignore this. So how's this, how about i give you something funny and wonderful to actually read? Sounds good? Of course, it does!

I was watching teen titans today (Don't ask). I don't know what the fuck was going on in that series, except that it was some end of the world shit and Trigon was sitting on the teen titans tower and the rest of the titans were trying to get him out of there. So in comes this dude Slade to help Robin and gang to save the world or some shit. And this is where it gets way too fucking dark for a fucking kids' cartoon.

He says this to Robin and team

"This is the end of the world. I don't expect you to live, I don't expect you to die, I only expect you to suffer."

Holy fuck.

How's that for a post? This gets some views, I'll post another post tomorrow. Or leave me a comment, tell me a fuck you or tell me a wtf story of yours. Be anon, who the fuck cares, right?

check

another test post

test post

yeah yeah ignore this please. 

Neck Tattoos

One guy that lives near our place has a neck tattoo. I don't like that guy for no other reason than the fact that he has a neck tattoo. I think people with neck tattoos should be shot in the knees or in the head, what does it matter. Neck tattoos are the worse kind of tattoos, shittier than face tattoos and more horrible than back tattoos.

fuck i hate tattoos and people who get those. 

It's been some time.

If there is one thing I have done on the internet in all these years it is to create and abandon blogs all over the fucking place. Any blogging site that comes up off the ether and disappears, I've tried that. Even though i have no love for wordpress, I've created and maintained blogs there too. Tumblr is another good place where I have multiple blogs covering various interests.

Why do I do this?

Maybe I have too much time. Maybe I am too much of a stickler. Maybe I want to confuse any future historians who might want to know more about me by reading everything I wrote on the internet in all these years. They'll be in for a painful job, that's for sure.

You can't really piece it all together, because this is some of the writing with my name or a handle associated with it, but there is so much more that I have written that it boggles my mind too and it's all out there, perhaps in some lost corner of the internet, just lying there, waiting while bots read it and discard it for the fluff that it is.

This last sentence was terrible. Don't do that, kids.

I took a break for some time. Had dinner and now I am back to writing this.

I really want to write long pieces that explore difficult topics and make people think, but for that I need to think a lot and thinking a lot is something that I avoid at all costs. There is nothing but pain that way when you start to get into the spiral of thoughts. There is no end to it, there is nowhere that you draw the line.

And that's how it goes.

I am going to write here more often because I think no one is reading it. And even if anyone is reading, why should I care.

Right?

The Most Ironical Thing

There is a lot of shit going around in the world.

The rupee is losing ground against dollar.

There is US strike happening in Syria and that has sent the stock market crashing.

Nokia just got bought by Microsoft and it's the end of an era for one of the best handset makers in the industry.

And I have a headache.

But

I log on to Twitter in evening and these are the trending topics for India.

#ArrestSalmanCriminal

#SrgayIsTerrorist

#SalmanTheBestHumanBeing

#ReplaceMovieNameWithMithai

Easy to see that all these are Bollywood related and somewhere out there, there are feverish, angry, emotional fans who are writing tweet after tweet after tweet to keep these topics in the trending spots.

What does that mean?

It's fucked up, it's insane that these people have the time or the money or the resources to be online and they're just fighting with each other for Bollywood actors who don't know/care that these people exist.

This is the most ironical thing about Twitter.

So it goes.

So let's talk about control.

You know what is the most beautiful thing in the world? Being in control.

And what is the ugliest thing in the world? The illusion of control.

The act of voting is basically, illusion of control. In any kind of democracy, there are only a few who are making the decisions for the many and they might have their own agendas, they might have their own axe to grind and they might even just be out of their mind. Because in today's world, you never know.

And then, the common man, the middle class family man who goes to his job from 9-6 and then spends the weekends catering to the whims of wife and kids, is given the illusion of control. He is told by anyone and everyone that his vote matters, that he can make a difference, that he can bring a change in the future of this country. Of course, no one says what kind of change. Change is inevitable. Things will keep on changing. So?

So, that man is given an illusion of control by giving him the option to vote for one scoundrel who might be less corrupt than the next name on the ballot.

And then you know the rest of the story, because you are the character in that story. Just step aside for bit and see. The prices are going to rise, the roads are going to remain broken and the pollution will only rise, summers will get hotter, powercuts will get longer. But, but, you say, there are positive changes too! Look at all the progress! All the achievements! All the good shit that we didn't have yesterday.

As an answer to that, I'd direct you to the first two sentences of this blog post. Or maybe if you're smart enough, you can figure it out by yourself.

the death of blogging, or something, for the 1000th time

I've been a pissed off boy for a long time. For as long as I can remember. Things were never right in this manner or that. The thoughts in my head were not right maybe. Maybe the teenage headfuck thoughts never really left me. Maybe I never let myself grow up and be an adult in many ways.

I still don't feel as old as I am on many days, but then again, who does? No one wants to get older. We only want to get older till we're in school and the prospect of going another day to school and prepare for another exam just feels painful a fuck. But you get out of school, there is college, university, a degree and then what? Yeah, the same old 9-6, six days a week grind. Why didn't they tell us it'd be like this? But then again, it is like this and complaining about it will not solve anything.

So we all suffer. We all complain and we all suffer and in the end we die or something, putting in place the next generation that will suffer in our place.

That's how it goes.

Effectively, this post is about nothing. I just wanted to let off some steam. Not sorry for wasting your time.

let's talk about some things

The internet on the whole has changed very quickly in the past few years. The attention spans that were minuscule earlier are now even less. Momentary attention spans.

There must be people who stopped reading till those lines. They have probably gone back to their regular haunts of facebook, twitter, reddit or youporn. Which is perfectly fine, we are all allowed to seek out excitement any way we can. That's what we are wired for. Some people drink, some people drive fast, there are others that get high on drugs and dance in dark basements to bad bad music. Like, trancey shit.

And it's all pretty okay, because frankly, who am I to give any kind of shit on what kind of shit you do to make your life seem meaningful and sane?

We're all running. One way or the other. We're all distracting ourselves from things that are scary. We've got the fucking blanket over our heads and we think that the ghosts won't see us then.

Which is untrue.

The ghosts see us.

They just wait.

anguish and stupidity

Just another two rupees where there are loads of opinions and anger and stupidity being thrown around.

What happened in Delhi, scares everyone. And when people fear something, the first response is hate. With hate comes anger and anger makes people stupid.

I've closed the twitter tab tonight, just like last night because there is lot of stupid shit being thrown around. More than usual. It's understandable. 

You want to punish the animals, you've to become an animal yourself. Or at least think like one. Sure, those animals will get what they deserve, what about you?

People often talk a lot of about taking action. People talk about setting an example. People talk about setting an example through fear.

People talk a lot.

But it's always too cold to go to gym in the morning and the cola is must tastier and instant than the milk or the water. 

You probably won't get what I am driving at, I am being obtuse for one reason. Maybe, just maybe, you'll use your mind for looking behind the scenes and thinking on your own instead of joining in with the masses.

Don't go with the flow man, that's the place for dead fish.

the fight in the neighborhood

Right, so where i live it's a lot of flats. And in lot of flats there are lot of women. There are two things that Indian housewives are very good at, fighting and talking about tv serials. They talk about TV serials like those are real people with real life problems to deal with. It's confusing at times.

Anyway, today when I came back from office there was some fight going on between the two parties in the nearby flats. So, being the rockstar that I am, I parked my bike, went in my flat and put on some loud dubstep to drown the sounds of fighting outside. Though, I did hear some LOUD bhenchods and maderchods being exchanged between the two women.

For the ease of storytelling ahead, Aunty A and Aunty B.

So, it turns out that Aunty A has flower pots all over the stairs to her flats. Now in the summer season the flowerpots attracted mosquitoes and those made the children of Aunty B sick. Aunty B asked her many times to remove the flower pots but she didn't. Well, she loves the flowerpots n stuff, who can blame her. Stairs are common ground, too. (Stairs are not ground, but whatever the fuck)

Turns out while these two parties were fighting, Aunty B's husband called Aunty A a "gashti"(prostitute) and tore her blouse. Another version of the story from Aunty B is that Aunty A tore her own blouse and said, "ab tujhe aur tere khasam ko jalwe dikhati hu" (now i'll show fireworks to you and your husband).

I got to know all this later when the society's handyman came to my flat to call me out cuz there was police in the society. 

How interesting. I missed some of the fun cuz I was out for dinner and stuff.

What happened in the meanwhile was that Aunty A went to the police station with her torn blouse and filed an FIR that Aunty B's husband tried to molest her. THAT's why the police was here, to pick the husband up. Whew! 

But then the people from the society gathered around the police, some local politician kind of guy got called and the police didn't take the guy with them. Things got hush-hushed. The politico shook everyone's hand and then I told everyone about all this on twitter.

Now, no one really knows what happened there at the fight. It's all different versions of the actual thing. There might be a society meeting tomorrow, so will update this post according to that.

Lesson from this? Don't trust people. People are fucked up and always have people out to support you, there is power in numbers. Keep your reputation clean and shake everyone's hand, even if you don't know the person. 

K, bye.

Twitter Is Interesting

I like twitter a lot. That website has caused a lot of blogposts to die in my head and i am sure many of you would also emphasize with me on that note. 

There was a time when i used to think up long blog posts that had no basis in research and were just my biased and uninformed opinions on everything and anything under the sun. But now I have twitter to do the same. And the dangerous thing is that, so do many many others. Every tingu pingu has a twitter account and all they do is talk to celebs.

Speaking of celebs, Ekta Kapoor did some stupid shit by shoving one of our uncles (more on this later) in a bank and then showing him the middle finger and telling him to fuck off. How sad, how bad. 

See, no matter how rude I get I always try to be respectful to the people who are elder to me. I might not agree with them and I might think that they're stupid and they deserve to die, but I can always fake the fact that I respect them a lot. Ekta Kapoor does not. Tch. bad for her. But not even bad, she is getting free publicity on twitter. She is trending right now. Yay!

Anyway, tell your mom, dad, sister, brother, grandmother and anyone in your home that they should not watch any serials produced by Ekta kapoor or any serials at all. Right, watch Cartoon Network instead, or better, burn your tv and talk to your family. Spend some quality family time together. 

Talking of family, twitter is like a dysfunctional family. And some random twitter user's dad is like our uncle too. I mean, if i met the old man I'd call him Uncle. So, he is uncle of all the twitter. And we must avenge the disrespect done to him.

Yeah.

Pink Floyd

I am not a very big fan of Pink Floyd. Most of the people spend their college listening to Pink Floyd and smoking weed and drinking cheap beer, because mostly all the people are doing that. People in my college were doing that too, but at that time I was listening to Megadeth and GWAR and Slipknot and god knows what else. 

Still, Dark Side of The Moon has some special memories associated with it. I got the album as a cassette on loan from some dude, who had got it on loan from some other dude. Things were like that in the small town where I lived. When I first heard the album, i didn't really appreciate the music. It just felt and sounded like shit to me. But as I didn't have too many cassettes to listen to, I gave it some more listens and it grew on me. It grew on me like anything. I picked up The Wall a year after that and that was a 2 cassette set which got a fuck lot of rotation in my tape deck. 

Those were nice days. Now we've music in our phones and MP3 players and what not. Everywhere I see, people are plugged into their little devices. How ancient will this be in 5 years? Very ancient. But people will still be listening to good music. 

I hope.