The Most Ironical Thing

There is a lot of shit going around in the world.

The rupee is losing ground against dollar.

There is US strike happening in Syria and that has sent the stock market crashing.

Nokia just got bought by Microsoft and it's the end of an era for one of the best handset makers in the industry.

And I have a headache.

But

I log on to Twitter in evening and these are the trending topics for India.

#ArrestSalmanCriminal

#SrgayIsTerrorist

#SalmanTheBestHumanBeing

#ReplaceMovieNameWithMithai

Easy to see that all these are Bollywood related and somewhere out there, there are feverish, angry, emotional fans who are writing tweet after tweet after tweet to keep these topics in the trending spots.

What does that mean?

It's fucked up, it's insane that these people have the time or the money or the resources to be online and they're just fighting with each other for Bollywood actors who don't know/care that these people exist.

This is the most ironical thing about Twitter.

So it goes.

So let's talk about control.

You know what is the most beautiful thing in the world? Being in control.

And what is the ugliest thing in the world? The illusion of control.

The act of voting is basically, illusion of control. In any kind of democracy, there are only a few who are making the decisions for the many and they might have their own agendas, they might have their own axe to grind and they might even just be out of their mind. Because in today's world, you never know.

And then, the common man, the middle class family man who goes to his job from 9-6 and then spends the weekends catering to the whims of wife and kids, is given the illusion of control. He is told by anyone and everyone that his vote matters, that he can make a difference, that he can bring a change in the future of this country. Of course, no one says what kind of change. Change is inevitable. Things will keep on changing. So?

So, that man is given an illusion of control by giving him the option to vote for one scoundrel who might be less corrupt than the next name on the ballot.

And then you know the rest of the story, because you are the character in that story. Just step aside for bit and see. The prices are going to rise, the roads are going to remain broken and the pollution will only rise, summers will get hotter, powercuts will get longer. But, but, you say, there are positive changes too! Look at all the progress! All the achievements! All the good shit that we didn't have yesterday.

As an answer to that, I'd direct you to the first two sentences of this blog post. Or maybe if you're smart enough, you can figure it out by yourself.

the death of blogging, or something, for the 1000th time

I've been a pissed off boy for a long time. For as long as I can remember. Things were never right in this manner or that. The thoughts in my head were not right maybe. Maybe the teenage headfuck thoughts never really left me. Maybe I never let myself grow up and be an adult in many ways.

I still don't feel as old as I am on many days, but then again, who does? No one wants to get older. We only want to get older till we're in school and the prospect of going another day to school and prepare for another exam just feels painful a fuck. But you get out of school, there is college, university, a degree and then what? Yeah, the same old 9-6, six days a week grind. Why didn't they tell us it'd be like this? But then again, it is like this and complaining about it will not solve anything.

So we all suffer. We all complain and we all suffer and in the end we die or something, putting in place the next generation that will suffer in our place.

That's how it goes.

Effectively, this post is about nothing. I just wanted to let off some steam. Not sorry for wasting your time.

let's talk about some things

The internet on the whole has changed very quickly in the past few years. The attention spans that were minuscule earlier are now even less. Momentary attention spans.

There must be people who stopped reading till those lines. They have probably gone back to their regular haunts of facebook, twitter, reddit or youporn. Which is perfectly fine, we are all allowed to seek out excitement any way we can. That's what we are wired for. Some people drink, some people drive fast, there are others that get high on drugs and dance in dark basements to bad bad music. Like, trancey shit.

And it's all pretty okay, because frankly, who am I to give any kind of shit on what kind of shit you do to make your life seem meaningful and sane?

We're all running. One way or the other. We're all distracting ourselves from things that are scary. We've got the fucking blanket over our heads and we think that the ghosts won't see us then.

Which is untrue.

The ghosts see us.

They just wait.

anguish and stupidity

Just another two rupees where there are loads of opinions and anger and stupidity being thrown around.

What happened in Delhi, scares everyone. And when people fear something, the first response is hate. With hate comes anger and anger makes people stupid.

I've closed the twitter tab tonight, just like last night because there is lot of stupid shit being thrown around. More than usual. It's understandable. 

You want to punish the animals, you've to become an animal yourself. Or at least think like one. Sure, those animals will get what they deserve, what about you?

People often talk a lot of about taking action. People talk about setting an example. People talk about setting an example through fear.

People talk a lot.

But it's always too cold to go to gym in the morning and the cola is must tastier and instant than the milk or the water. 

You probably won't get what I am driving at, I am being obtuse for one reason. Maybe, just maybe, you'll use your mind for looking behind the scenes and thinking on your own instead of joining in with the masses.

Don't go with the flow man, that's the place for dead fish.

the fight in the neighborhood

Right, so where i live it's a lot of flats. And in lot of flats there are lot of women. There are two things that Indian housewives are very good at, fighting and talking about tv serials. They talk about TV serials like those are real people with real life problems to deal with. It's confusing at times.

Anyway, today when I came back from office there was some fight going on between the two parties in the nearby flats. So, being the rockstar that I am, I parked my bike, went in my flat and put on some loud dubstep to drown the sounds of fighting outside. Though, I did hear some LOUD bhenchods and maderchods being exchanged between the two women.

For the ease of storytelling ahead, Aunty A and Aunty B.

So, it turns out that Aunty A has flower pots all over the stairs to her flats. Now in the summer season the flowerpots attracted mosquitoes and those made the children of Aunty B sick. Aunty B asked her many times to remove the flower pots but she didn't. Well, she loves the flowerpots n stuff, who can blame her. Stairs are common ground, too. (Stairs are not ground, but whatever the fuck)

Turns out while these two parties were fighting, Aunty B's husband called Aunty A a "gashti"(prostitute) and tore her blouse. Another version of the story from Aunty B is that Aunty A tore her own blouse and said, "ab tujhe aur tere khasam ko jalwe dikhati hu" (now i'll show fireworks to you and your husband).

I got to know all this later when the society's handyman came to my flat to call me out cuz there was police in the society. 

How interesting. I missed some of the fun cuz I was out for dinner and stuff.

What happened in the meanwhile was that Aunty A went to the police station with her torn blouse and filed an FIR that Aunty B's husband tried to molest her. THAT's why the police was here, to pick the husband up. Whew! 

But then the people from the society gathered around the police, some local politician kind of guy got called and the police didn't take the guy with them. Things got hush-hushed. The politico shook everyone's hand and then I told everyone about all this on twitter.

Now, no one really knows what happened there at the fight. It's all different versions of the actual thing. There might be a society meeting tomorrow, so will update this post according to that.

Lesson from this? Don't trust people. People are fucked up and always have people out to support you, there is power in numbers. Keep your reputation clean and shake everyone's hand, even if you don't know the person. 

K, bye.

Twitter Is Interesting

I like twitter a lot. That website has caused a lot of blogposts to die in my head and i am sure many of you would also emphasize with me on that note. 

There was a time when i used to think up long blog posts that had no basis in research and were just my biased and uninformed opinions on everything and anything under the sun. But now I have twitter to do the same. And the dangerous thing is that, so do many many others. Every tingu pingu has a twitter account and all they do is talk to celebs.

Speaking of celebs, Ekta Kapoor did some stupid shit by shoving one of our uncles (more on this later) in a bank and then showing him the middle finger and telling him to fuck off. How sad, how bad. 

See, no matter how rude I get I always try to be respectful to the people who are elder to me. I might not agree with them and I might think that they're stupid and they deserve to die, but I can always fake the fact that I respect them a lot. Ekta Kapoor does not. Tch. bad for her. But not even bad, she is getting free publicity on twitter. She is trending right now. Yay!

Anyway, tell your mom, dad, sister, brother, grandmother and anyone in your home that they should not watch any serials produced by Ekta kapoor or any serials at all. Right, watch Cartoon Network instead, or better, burn your tv and talk to your family. Spend some quality family time together. 

Talking of family, twitter is like a dysfunctional family. And some random twitter user's dad is like our uncle too. I mean, if i met the old man I'd call him Uncle. So, he is uncle of all the twitter. And we must avenge the disrespect done to him.

Yeah.